Create A Life You Love Newsletter

Practical steps to have MORE in your life - More fun, more love, more peace, more excitement.

ISSUE NO 11: Introducing "Relationship Corner"

1. FEATURE: Introducing 'Relationship Corner'
2. Announcements/Offers
3. The Personal Touch
4. About the "Create a Life You Love" Newsletter

Next Issue: 'Where is Respect missing?'

Information on subscription, submitting material for this newsletter, forwarding to friends, and your coach - David Wood, can be found at the end of this newsletter.

FEATURE: Introducing 'Relationship Corner'

Following Issue No 10: The Training Cycle, readers sent in some very thought provoking requests for cyber coaching. Below you can read selected issues sent in by readers, and the coaching I sent back!

Invitation: If you send your (very brief!) relationship issue/problem to lifecoach@instructor.net, I will give you FREE cyber coaching on the issue (i.e. email coaching). I may include the issue in following newsletters using your initials only.

So go on - send in your issue! I will only keep this Section going if it is of value to, and being used by, you - the reader. I still plan to include a general article on having life be exactly the way you want it (feel free to send me feedback at lifecoach@instructor.net on the topics you would like to see).

*** *** ***

Reader No 1: RH, Sydney

Dude, I think you're losing it!

What about the woman focussing her attention on the man, giving the man what he wants, and the man training his female partner?

COACH:***dude - look around you. That's the way it is already - and I say the divorce rates prove that system doesn't work.

Women don't need training to give a man attention - they've been conditioned since birth to do that.***

Lots of women say to me recently, the most important thing in a relationship is that each person can bring out the best in the other. But shouldn't the motivation to be your best come from within, and not from someone else, as the only person you can ultimately rely on is yourself?

COACH: ***It does come from you. Yet - supporting yourself by surrounding yourself with inspiring, motivating people (including a partner) is smart. Why fight uphill?***

I've finally been getting my act together, getting out there, and dated a series of women recently, but the one I like the best has been very indecisive between me, another guy, and staying single, so she's gone away to clear her head.

COACH:***So pay attention...what does she want from you right now?***

Reader No 2: MT, Sydney

David,

You've really got me interested and thinking - about how to better please/communicate women and get the attention that I'm looking for.

COACH:***This can be done. However, more powerful is to "overflow her" with what she wants so that her surplus turns towards you. Much better than trying to get the attention you want.***

In the last two weeks, I've decided it's time to start to live again, so I'm back in the dating game. With courage and no fear (well at least not enough to stop me) I've asked Jackie on a date, and I'm happy to say she accepted.

My challenge here is that she too is recently out of a long term relationship and not looking for big commitment etc. We had a good first date with no pressure, hard moves, or sense of discomfort. Next day I suggested a stroll along the beach/swim to which she readily reinforced her position of not seeking commitment. I assured her that I understand and that I am happy to be there for her as a companion etc. which Jackie claims she is looking for.

Can't help but think that stage 1 of asking and gaining acceptance is going well. However, stage 2 "The Date" maybe where I'm falling apart. Perhaps this is where some relationship coaching may help. What do you think?

COACH: ***play with the training cycle (See Issue #10) Who says you're falling apart? If Jackie wants to feel safe, then what there is to do is to give her that. Keep paying attention, and giving her what she wants if you want to hang out with this woman. If this happens, how could she not stick around?***

Reader No 3: Anonymous

Dear David,

When a silly insignificant argument strikes once a fortnight - my husband's consistent quote within 2 minutes of arguing is: pack your bags and get the hell out of my life (the irrational quitter). Last time this happened I complied with his request and was seriously shocked to see him run after me. I reversed the power struggle and found myself to be at the steering wheel. Although, regardless of the precedence set at the previous scene, I know that he will ask me to pack my bags again...it's only a matter of time.

COACH: ***great opening for communication. Find out what's there for him that has him say that, and listen until there's no more for him to say. Then ask him if he wants to continue like that, or if he's willing to agree to another way of acting when he feels like that***

As a female, I loath the insecurity, the threatening power and the buttons he now knows how to push. I need to change this about me, or in all honesty he needs to see a counsellor to gain understanding, acceptance & most importantly closure from his past...as I know he finds it hard to accept the way one female had the power to turn his world upside down within a week - just when at the time he thought he had a perfect life. Can you help?
Grace

COACH:***Counseling for him is a good idea. But him changing won't handle this. I think you could also use a coach so you can be powerful in your interactions, rather than reacting. He's going to do what he's going to do. It's what you do that's important.***

D***

2. ANNOUNCEMENTS/OFFERS

Coach Training Program - ONE TIME OFFER

Wanting to be a certified life or business coach? Or add coaching skills to your existing skill set?

International Coach Academy is currently taking registrations from the UK, Canada, USA, NZ and Australia; train using your telephone and your internet connection.

There are only 10 places left. You can save US$600 by booking before February 15, 2001. Commences February 19.

Group Coaching Calls - SolutionBox™ - (Next one: Feb 14 and 15)

Would you like low cost access to coaching? Here is your chance to listen in on live coaching, AND to get coaching on any issue you like from David Wood, an
experienced coach. Cost is only $30 per call, and you have the choice of dialing a US or Australian phone number.

For details and registration:
www.life-coaching-resource.com/group-coaching.htm

Or visit the web site below and click on 'Group Coaching'. Go on - are you waiting for an invitation? Well this is it!<s>

"Free" Coaching Offer

I work with a number of student coaches, mentoring them to start and grow their coaching practices. If you would like a month or two of coaching from a student coach for a nominal $50 per month, please send me an email with "Request Student Coaching" in the heading, and describe your issue, or click here:
mailto:lifecoach@instructor.net?subject="Req_Student_Coaching"

Charity

If you feel you would like to make a contribution to charity, check out The Children of Georgia Project, which assists children badly needing help in the ex-Soviet country of Georgia.

http://goldenkey.waikato.ac.nz/georgiaProject.html

3. THE PERSONAL TOUCH

My girlfriend Bronwyn moves in next week! I had a whole days notice - who needs more? <g> Since connecting with her at a school reunion (after a 16 year gap!) , things just keep getting better. We are both getting certified as hang-glider pilots, and learning to dance the Ceroc.

The International Coach Academy course was 50% filled before we even placed an ad! I've been heavily involved in creating the training that will build world class coaches, and it's very exciting to see it emerge so clearly and powerfully.

I was very pleased with the Radio National (ABC) interview on coaching this week - you'll be able to listen to it soon on the web site. And that's the news!

David

4. ABOUT THE "Create a Life You Love" NEWSLETTER

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http://www.life-coaching-resource.com

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Interested in writing an article for this newsletter or including a special offer? Contact David at
mailto:lifecoach@instructor.net?subject=write/offer , or
send an email to lifecoach@instructor.net

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http://www.lifecoachingresource.com

David Wood is a personal coach, and a Director of International Coach Academy - an online coach training company. He asks people "What do you want?", and "What are you doing about it?" He coaches individuals in several countries via e-mail and telephone, and speaks to organisations on topics such as 'Create A Life You Love'. David specializes in relationships, and helping new coaches get started and build their practices.

Professional Affiliations: International Coach Federation,
National Speakers Association of Australia,
Institute of Actuaries of Australia.

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