Create A Life You Love Newsletter

Practical steps to have MORE in your life - More fun, more love, more peace, more excitement.

ISSUE NO 4: TRUTH-TELLING (LIES AND WITH-HOLDS)

1. FEATURE ARTICLE: "Truth-Telling (Lies and With-holds)"
2. How to Up Your Level of Truth-Telling
3. The Personal Touch - My Human Awareness Institute Experience
4. Offers and Announcements
5. About "Create a Life You Love" Newsletter

Information on subscription, submitting material for this newsletter, forwarding to friends, and your coach - David Wood, can be found at the end of this newsletter.

1. FEATURE ARTICLE: "Truth-Telling (Lies and With-holds)"

"Every with-hold you have from someone, is a brick in the wall between you."

Do you tell the truth? What percentage of the time? 100%? Or 90%? And when you do tell the truth, do you tell 100% of it? Or 90%?

"You look great". "I don't mind". "Yes, sex is good". "Everything's fine at home". "I'm sorry". "I didn't mean to". "Something came up".

And what about the truths we don't say - the "with- holds"? "I'm really upset that you cancelled on me". "I don't feel respected by you". "I lie to you so you'll like me". "I'm worried if I tell you the truth you'll be angry". "It's important to me that you be on time".

You're either telling the truth, lying, or with-holding. Even most of us with the best intentions DO NOT tell 100% of the truth, 100% of the time.

Why?

We CAN'T tell the whole truth - about what we want, how we feel, what we love, what we hate. Because we need people to like us, to love us, to accept us, to want to hang around us. "If I told Jill she needs a wash, she'd be upset, or even freak out". "If I told Bill I'm not enjoying sex, we'd both be embarrassed, and he might leave me". So we get to protect, hide-out, manipulate, and control.

THE IRONY

If we don't tell the truth, people CAN'T love us! The only way we can really be loved - really be accepted, is to show who we are. To be who we are. Only THEN, once you are truly seen, is it possible for someone to accept the real you. If we instead show a "front" ("No, no - it's OK that you're late"), they can only like, love, accept the "front"! Then we feel more alone than ever, and maybe even resentful.

And consider this: if you don't show who you ~really~ are, how will the beautiful souls on the planet who are looking for ~you~, find you? They'll see your "front", and move on!

In "The Truth About Relationships", Greg Baer says: "Only when I tell the truth can I be clearly seen by others. Only then can I feel ~accepted~ by them and feel that they genuinely care about my happiness (Real Love). I create the opportunity to be loved when I tell the truth about myself."

So there it is. How do we be who we really are? How do we give people the chance to see us, to accept the "real me"? Risky, but simple: Tell the Truth.

When we Tell the Truth

I recently had the opportunity to dig deep, and reveal a very uncomfortable truth. I was developing a nice friendship with a very beautiful woman, and at a certain point, had a "flash": one reason I was drawn to beautiful women in particular, was that love/affection/acceptance from ~this~ group of human beings, felt valid and important - I let it in. However, affection from people I didn't find physically attractive, I tended to devalue. Let's get right down to it - "I could be using her to feel important!!???". While I wasn't proud of this view, and am committed to moving past it, at that moment it was part of who I am, and I risked sharing it with her.

The result? It felt incredibly freeing, creating a very safe space of honesty, and brought us even closer together.

When you're willing to dig deep, find the truth, and risk sharing it, you:

- Create a possibility for true acceptance, and real love. - Increase your self expression, which feels great! - Get led to who you really are, and to what you really love/hate. - Grow, and find more truth, and grow, and find more truth, and grow... - Have nothing to hide - how freeing is that!? - Attract those people ready for, and looking for, you! - Lose people who drain you (i.e. upgrade!) - Give others a gift - something ~real~ - as opposed to something false. - Create a safe space for them to tell ~their~ truth!

By David Wood
SolutionBox™

2. How Do I "Up" My Level of Truth-Telling?

Dear risk-takers: There ARE risks associate with this practice. Particularly for those of us who like to stick to the comfort zone, please note that ~anything~ can happen - both negative, and wonderfully positive - if you do the following:

a) Write down the names of three people you would like to feel closer to - e.g. spouse, boss, employee, friend, you!

b) Next to each name, write down at least one thing that's important to you, but you would feel uncomfortable or unsafe telling them. What have you been with-holding?

c) Tell them. Setting up the space: let them know this is NOT about them. It's not about anything they have done wrong. It's simply about you, how you feel, what works for you, and that you want to let them know where you are. (Tip: If it's something you don't need them to do anything about, let them know that!)

d) Now, give them exactly the same space! The room to share their with-holds with you. Ask them: "Is there anything you would feel uncomfortable telling me?" "Have I ever disappointed you?" (What a question!). Let them know they can say anything, and you'll simply hear it, putting all your reactions aside. (Tip: If you're not willing to put your stuff aside, don't do this! If you can't control it, leave the room).

To request the "Top Ten Truths You're With-holding", see Section 4.

Risk a litte!

By David Wood

3. The Personal Touch - My Human Awareness Institute Experience

I have to let you know about a course I discovered last weekend! I found a group of people devoted to opening the hearts of people world-wide, and showing us the deep connection that is possible between human beings. There were many people walking on loving clouds following the course, but here's my experience in a nut-shell.

I got:

. a sense of peace
. a much deeper connection with men, and therefore myself
. a profound connection with nature
. the ability to look past someone's "package", and see who's there
. a different perspective on my business - from "who I am" to "something I do"
. a stronger sense that us walking around in these bodies, with our associated dramas, and feeling so isolated and different from everyone, is a construct or game.

For how to reach the Human Awareness Institute, see Section 4 below. (And yes, they're in the US, Australia, Europe, and probably a few other places.)

David

4. OFFERS/ANNOUNCEMENTS

a) For a free ~cyber~ coaching session on a with-hold or truth you want to share, but can't see how to, click here: lifecoach@instructor.net?subject=withholdsession

b) To order a copy of the EXCELLENT book: "The Truth About Relationships" by Greg Baer, visit http://www.gregbaer.com

c) For information on the Human Awareness Institute, and their life-changing courses, visit http://www.hai.org - particularly the LIS Workshop.

d) Click here to request a copy of the Top Ten Truths You're Withholding: lifecoach@instructor.net?subject=Req.TopTenWithholds

e) For a website with over 200 pages of articles, tips, humor and ideas, visit http://www.philiphumbert.com. And, while you're there, you might check out his weekly newsletter, TIP's.

5. ABOUT THE "Create a Life You Love" NEWSLETTER

To subscribe, and for free information packs, visit www.life-coaching-resource.com/http://www.solutionbox.com/freedownload.htm

Privacy Policy: We will NEVER knowingly release, sell, or give a subscriber's name or E-mail address to any other party. You will normally receive only the newsletter from SolutionBox™, and only rarely will receive a special notice we feel is important to our readers.

Want some additional help on the above topics, or ask questions about how a personal and business coach can help forward a specific area of your life? Contact David at lifecoach@instructor.net or go to http://www.lifecoaching.com.au

Please forward this newsletter to your friends and family if you think they would enjoy it.

Interested in writing an article for this newsletter or including a special offer?
Contact David at lifecoach@instructor.net

We encourage you to share, replicate or forward this newsletter as long as the subscription, author links and attribution, and copyright information is kept intact.

THE AUTHOR is David Wood of SolutionBox™

David Wood is a personal and business coach. He coaches people who are ready for MORE in their life. He helps people focus on a particular area of their life, and develop actions to move forward in that area.

He coaches individuals in several countries via e-mail, phone and in person, and speaks to organisations on topics such as 'Create A Life You Love'.

Professional Affiliations: International Coaching Federation, National Speakers Association of Australia, Institute of Actuaries of Australia.

Free Tools