Shadow Side (the things we don’t share)

Confession:
For the past 6 months, surrounded by rice paddies, I’ve spent 8 hours a day playing a computer game and watching TV. (That’s 1,440 hours).

confessionAt night I’ve been drinking alcohol, and sometimes stuffing myself with sugar.

I rarely went out, and I discouraged visitors.  I’m also taking prescribed Mirtazapine and Valium, which seems to mitigate the depression and anxiety.

She asked me: “What are you preparing yourself for?”
The answer arose: “A life of loneliness”.
(Or to command Earth’s fleet if we’re ever invaded)

Some of it was truly fun, but the overwhelming sense was of “getting by”, “coping” and “wasting my life”. With some awareness, I consumed my addictions, and watched and waited.

It’s surprising that people were trying to get time with me, and staggering that one or two were persistent enough to pierce the veil.

So now, with a gentle nudge from the divine feminine, I’ve recently made some massive changes:
– 6 weeks since I touched the computer game
– 4 weeks since I’ve tasted alcohol
– TV watching slashed by 80% (and I’m way more discerning)
– on a healthy eating plan (juices, vegetables, shakes, low sugar)
– regular sessions with a somatic therapist who is pure love

There’s an aliveness; a tingling/buzzing in my energy field.
I’m on fire with passion for theatrical improv and teaching, particularly face to face groups (and stay tuned for the google hangouts!)
I’m filling my time with fun, games, people, and service.
Deep, dark scary emotions I haven’t wanted to face for a very long time are coming into the light and being seen and loved.
The bag of salt and vinegar chips still sits on my counter, unopened.
I still sometimes experience mild symptoms of fatigue, anxiety and depression, AND:

I like being here, now, in my body.
I like the sense that maybe, just maybe, laser bolts might shoot from my hands.

If you’re currently making massive changes in your life, or you WANT to, I’d love to hear about them below if you’re willing to share.
What are you inspired to shift?

(More Truth-Bombs at www.facebook.com/solutionbox)

 

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