The following is an excerpt from Top Coaching Techniques.

1.      Ask your partner for three things you do that bugs or upsets him/her. (And then cut it out!)

2.      Find three things your partner does that you appreciate, but don’t thank them enough for – and thank them!

3.      Acknowledge your partner for ~who~ they are (as opposed to what they do) e.g. generous, loving, vulnerable, caring, funny.

4.      Make a list of TEN things you value about your partner and the relationship, and let them know!

5.      Advanced: Give him/her the space to tell you the things she’s scared to tell you. (Ask for something she’s uncomfortable telling you, and then BE OK with it – no matter what! You don’t get a second chance at this game)

6.      Ask him/her if you’ve ever disappointed him. Then let him know it’s not your intention. (Note: if your emotions come up in response – let them go or leave the room!)

7.      Advanced: What’s the Number One thing you’ve been withholding from your partner? Give them the change to accept you for who you are and what you’ve done.

8.      Mark in your diary a weekly surprise for him/her. It can be a trip to Fiji, or a massage – it’s the regular thinking that counts.

9.      Ask him/her the Number One thing you can do to make her happy.

10.     Schedule a “pleasure session” for your partner where his/her job is only to enjoy, and reciprocation is not allowed!!!!