The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

Client:         I feel a bit more if I probably don’t get in contact with her, that won’t be probably so bad.

David:         Well I’d like to share a couple of thoughts on it. First, I think it’s great, so it sounds like you’re in a good place. What I can see happening is that she was meeting a need for you, she still is. You know, that email felt good, right?

Client:         Yeah.

David:         So she still is meeting that need for you, and that’s okay, as long as you recognize that when you’re pining, what you’re feeling is, ‘I’m not feeling loved. I want that reassurance from her.’ That’s okay as long as you know what’s going on. It sounds like you realize you weren’t getting everything you need from the relationship, so you made a conscious choice to leave, and then you’re like, ‘Hang on, but I was getting that need.’ What a lot of people do, and what I did for years, is I went back. I went back and got the need met again to the point where I got that filled up, and then thought, ‘What am I doing?’