David: Well, I think you’re pretty much there. It’s just details now. So I would love it, when you get a moment tomorrow, to send me a quick email, just letting me know how it went. You know, however it goes, that’s how it’s going to go. Also, would you please email me with what you would say to your grandparents? You’ve just done some awesome communication here with me. So, similar vein: what is there; what can you be responsible for; what can you ask for? You know, just the truth for you. Get it out. Send it to me in a way that feels powerful to you and if I can add anything to it, I’ll get back to you on it.
Client: Okay. Sounds really good.
David: You’ve got two weeks to do some stuff, so it’s great that you said to me, ‘Look I’m feeling pretty empowered and I know what I’ve got to do.’ So, you’re going to work on the ‘clean sweep’. Keep getting it moving – keep cleaning up. I’m going to send you something called the ‘Who Am I’ questions and that’s for you to start looking at who you are as a coach. You’ll have some time to look at that. Do it early in the week, so that you can then think about it and readdress it over the next seven days. Then you can send it to me with your self-coaching form.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Paul, I’m going to ask you to slow down.
Client: [laughing] I’m getting going aren’t I?
David: Yeah, you’re really getting going. So let’s slow down. I get that your mom was tough, but she also did a lot of great stuff. What I’m hearing from you is: if I was going to put it into your words – I’ll put it in your words and you tell me if that’s true for you – it would be, ‘Mom, I wanted more attention as a kid. There’s a certain way I thought that should look and I didn’t get it. I’m actually angry and pissed off, because I didn’t feel loved. I didn’t really, really feel it and I’ve decided (and this may not be rational), but I’ve decided it’s your fault and I’m angry.’ Does that fit you?
Client: Yes.
David: OK, great. Thank you.
Client: So, I’ve toned it down. I was talking in the past.
David: So how would you say it talking in the present? Because I think those feelings are still there. What would you say to her now? I’m not suggesting that you say this to her if you were going to be nosebleed truth about it, but what would you say?
Client: It’s basically what you just said, and it has been said. It was said five years ago. That’s basically what I said. The problem only occurs when I’m living with her; when I see her like a son normally sees his mother.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: I guess it is and it seems you’re clear as to why I asked you that question.
Client: Well, you’re trying to find what it is that’s motivating me, I presume.
David: There seems to be a strong focus for you on what isn’t working, and the words are in here: Sherry, awesome weather, value time with my daughter. You’ve got your achievements and what you are grateful for, but I don’t get that you’re really present to it; that it’s not really there for you in each moment.
Client: No, it’s probably not. I’m trying to find my way out of it to change that. I guess it’s the thing that I most want than I am happiest with, because I haven’t got what I want to make me happy. That wasn’t very well put, was it?
David: That’s okay. What I am pretty clear on is what you want over the next 12 months that will make you happier. I think that when you get out of this job, it will make a big difference in your life. I understand that. What I really want to know is what could you do – what’s it going to take – over the next 7 days, for you to enjoy those?
Client: [laughing] I can’t chuck my job – that’s not a very useful thing.
David: That might be something I’d actually challenge on another occasion, about whether or not you can do that. But, I’m not going to do it for now. We’ll leave that for you. We’ve not just that to work on.
The following is taken from David’s interview in 10 Super Coaches.
Would you advise coaches to pursue certification?
Choose a school/training that you admire and respect. And do it to become a better coach. Or do it for the thrill of learning and the good of the profession. But don’t let the ‘piece of paper’ run you. It’s a common myth that a certification will get you more clients. In my experience, it’s simply not true. Try to get certified so you can feel confidend is not the smartest reason.
I got my formal PCC certificatin through the International Coach Federation and I found that it actually wasn’t important at all. I think I may have been asked once in the whole first three years of my coaching what qualification I had, and in that case it was by a magazine that wanted to do a story on me.
I would say to coaches starting out, don’t be panicked or worried by the fact that you may not have a formal certification. Build up your testimonials from clients and let that speak for you.
The following is a transcription taken from Explode Your Practice.
David: OK, great. So let’s just go through a few simple steps then to sort out your brand. Or at least, get you going in this session. Firstly, who is your target market? Describe your ideal customer.
My ideal customer is somebody who is living a pretty good life and would like to have richer, fuller relationships. And also feel they have better skills around relating to their partner or potential partners.
David: OK, so that’s what they want – a fulfilled relationship and skills. Now what kind of demographics do these people have? Do you have a specific group in mind? Are we talking men or women to focus on? Who’s going to come and buy this service?
Well, what I have found so far, is it seems to be mostly couples in their early 30’s. I’ve found that people in their 20’s don’t seem to want to be worrying about it too much, whereas people in their 30’s have been through the ringer a few times and have gotten the idea that maybe with a little more information or skills they could do a better job.
David: Great, and I guess also there’s more pressure for the women who want to get married. They want to have a baby. The clock’s ticking. And it’s actually quite important for women to maybe spend money on having a relationship running smoothly.
The following is an excerpt of an interview with David in Top Coaching Techniques.
Ingrid: Just tell us. Super stars are into these, and regular people too, but what does a life coach do?
David: Executives these days are also using life coaches. A ‘coach’; I mean the word is presumptuous. I’m saying life coach, but really, a life coach helps people to get clear on what they do want in life. Many people you know never tell you what they don’t want in life, and you might hear people around you complain. A coach’s job is to help someone actually clarify goals they’d love to achieve in their life. The second thing a coach does is work with them once a week – usually on the phone, sometimes face to face – to actually make sure those goals get achieved.
Ingrid: When you say, ‘work out what people want to do in their life’, I wouldn’t even know where to start half the time.
David: You know, that often happens where people say, ‘I don’t know what I want.’ so one of the things I do with a client, is to help them go through a goal-finding process. We might start with what you don’t want. So we’ll look at what you’re putting up with in your life – what you’re tolerating, what don’t you like. Then we can start looking at different areas like relationships, health, career, finance, and start setting some goals that would really feel good to you to achieve.
