The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: I know a woman, a coach, whose brother is an alcoholic. For years she had to put up with hell – her brother coming and taking her car, being at family get-togethers, and all this stuff – and her story, her sorry story, was, ‘Well, he’s my brother and what can I do?’

Client: Yeah.

David: She finally did the kindest thing she could do; she said, ‘You are not welcome in my house while you’re drinking. You cannot have my car, you cannot walk in my house, and you are not allowed at family gatherings. I love you. You’re my brother, but that is the boundary I am setting.’ Do you know what happened?

Client: What, he became sober?

David: I’m not so sure about that, but what I do know is this woman became more powerful and she wasn’t a victim anymore. Now I am wondering what it would take for you? I have to be careful that I don’t ask for something here.

Client: I have to grow up. I am a victim.