1.     I like you more than I let on; I’d like to spend more time with you

2.     You’re sexy/I want to have sex with you

3.     I feel hurt by something you did/do

4.     I’m drained by you…….(being late, not returning my calls, yelling at me etc.)

5.     I’d really like you to touch and hug me more

6.     I love you. Thank you for being in my life.

7.     I’m angry at you.

8.     I’m having sex to please you/keep you in the relationship

9.     I’m worried if I tell you the truth you’ll be angry/ I’m afraid.

1.      Ask your partner for three things you do that bugs or upsets him/her. (And then cut it out!)

2.      Find three things your partner does that you appreciate, but don’t thank them enough for – and thank them!

3.      Acknowledge your partner for ~who~ they are (as opposed to what they do) e.g. generous, loving, vulnerable, caring, funny.

4.      Make a list of TEN things you value about your partner and the relationship, and let them know!

5.      Advanced: Give him/her the space to tell you the things she’s scared to tell you. (Ask for something she’s uncomfortable telling you, and then BE OK with it – no matter what! You don’t get a second chance at this game)

6.      Ask him/her if you’ve ever disappointed him. Then let him know it’s not your intention. (Note: if your emotions come up in response – let them go or leave the room!)

7.      Advanced: What’s the Number One thing you’ve been withholding from your partner? Give them the change to accept you for who you are and what you’ve done.

8.      Mark in your diary a weekly surprise for him/her. It can be a trip to Fiji, or a massage – it’s the regular thinking that counts.

9.      Ask him/her the Number One thing you can do to make her happy.

10.     Schedule a “pleasure session” for your partner where his/her job is only to enjoy, and reciprocation is not allowed!!!!

Loving What Is: A Free Call with Byron Katie & The Work

I respect Katie so much I spent a MONTH with her – 28 days straight. So we’re very privileged to be able to arrange a call with this amazing woman who’s appeared on Oprah radio.

The Work is four simple questions that can radically transform your life. If you want to grow big enough in your personal power to be of greater service to others, and to find glorious new levels of inner calm, and experience more joy in life, you won’t want to miss this call.

Date: Tuesday, February 24
Time: 7pm Eastern/4pm Pacific
Cost: FREE!

Register here:
http://www.tinyurl.com/katiecall

Are you on Facebook yet?

Join me for video tips and fun pics at www.DavidsFaceBook.com

Charity Volunteering

Vounteer for a few hours to help prevent teen suicide.

Sounds like a good idea to me. 

2. FEATURE: Impossible Love?

This is an excerpt from Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho:

For the Warrior there is no such thing as an impossible love.

He is not intimidated by silence, indifference, or rejection.  He knows that behind the mask of ice that people wear, there beats a heart of fire.

This is why the Warrior takes more risks than other people.  He is constantly seeking the love of someone, even if that means often having to hear the word “no”, returning home defeated and feeling rejected in body and soul.

A Warrior never gives in to fear when he is searching for what he needs.  Without love, he is nothing.

***

Action

1) Is there a risk you want to take in a relationship or while searching for a relationship?

2) Go to the blog to tell us your risk, so we can support you.

* * * *

Enjoy!

P.S. Got a comment on this article? Add it to the blog 

3. The Personal Touch

I’m in my new home! (video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhAhq9bjrVM ) I’ve been traveling for 10 months out of the last 13! And I’m now happy to stay put for a while.

The retreat with the speakers and authors of www.tlc8.com in hawaii was powerful, leading me to question my purpose. (Recording of purpose discussion available on facebook.) The result was me declaring ‘Serve the World Mondays’ for the next 3 months, where I contribute to others regardless of revenue.

I’m still testing book titles, have a great book agent, and Jack Canfield has kindly agreed to right the foreword. (Awesome!)

We also have at least 5 projects we’re busily working on to generate revenue – quite a few product launches coming up.

And I’m single and ready to date again! What lovely women there are here in San Fran

Love,

David

4. About the ‘Create a Life You Love’ Newsletter

TO SUBSCRIBE, and for free information packs on coaching, visit: http://www.SolutionBox.com/freedownload.htm.

How was this marriage saved?

I was very moved to receive this success story from the latest reader of “The Truth About Women” ebook: “David, I have to say thank you sooooo MUCH!!! My husband and I seemed to be worlds apart until I found your ebook. We were in such bad shape I thought there was no where left to go.

We starting reading ‘The Truth About Women’ together about a week ago and it was as if the light came on. He actually looked at me and said “I GET IT! I understand now what you’ve been trying to tell me all along”

We have our good days and our bad days, but the bad ones are becoming far less and when we need to we just reference your ebook to seek coaching! 

I know this all sounds so stereotypical but it is the truth. Thank you so much. You have truly saved a family from it’s own demise!” 

Tracey Iverson
West Chester PA USA
gtkiverson @ aol.com 

Click here for “The Truth About Women”

2. FEATURE: Finding Love and Joy

This is an excerpt from Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho:

A Warrior of the Light needs love.

Love and affection are as much a part of his nature as eating, drinking, and a taste for the Good Fight.  When the Warrior watches a sunset and feels no joy, then something is wrong.

At this point, he stops fighting and goes in search of company, so that they can watch the setting sun together.

If he has difficulty in finding company, he asks himself: “Was I too afraid to approach someone?  Did I receive affection and not even notice?”

A Warrior of the Light makes use of solitude, but is not used by it.

***

Action

1) Do one thing today that brings you joy. 

2) Do the same activity, only take someone with you. Experience the joy of sharing that moment together.

3) What have you learned? Go to the blog and share your experience.

* * * *

Enjoy!

P.S. Got a comment on this article? Add it to the blog

3. The Personal Touch

Quite an interesting month. I thought I could keep writing my book while I traveled Australia, but I can’t. Too distracting. I now have an offer from two publishers, and am still shopping it around.

It was awesome to make my brother’s 30th birthday in Melbourne, and to stay with Bronwyn (my darling ex) and her man.

It was great to survive the government audit for a $100,000 export assistance grant. (results aren’t in yet, but it’s looking good)

I went camping with my Dad for three nights – the first time we’ve ever done something alone. It was profound, with each of us bringing up things we’d never spoken of.

After 35 years, I enrolled my family in celebrating my late sister’s life. She lived for 5 years, and I say that’s 5 years worth celebrating! We had a lovely time story-telling around the table.

I explored relationship possibility (once again!) with my personal growth angel/devil, and found that I was just getting hugely triggered; I wasn’t happy. I finally decided life is too short for that, and felt instantly better once I decided to move on (yet again . But you know – it does get easier. It was one of the best break up calls I’ve had.

I spoke to 500 people at a Chris Howard business seminar in Sydney. Sales weren’t what I expected, but I nailed the speech, and I did discover that making out with a stunning woman is a lovely way of moving through a breakup. (too much info? well…you ARE reading the personal section

Also connected with my Aussie friend Sarah Mac after 7 years, and we’re talking about doing a radio show in the US – entertainment meets personal development. Thoughts? (let’s hear them on the blog)

Today I flew from Sydney to San Francisco, and am writing from a lovely hotel on the water. Tomorrow I go to Calgary to hang with friends, and expect to go house hunting soon in the San Francisco Bay area.

So once again, your average month

You can find new photos and videos at www.davidsfacebook.com

Love David

P.S. all comments welcome here

At the end I’ll ask:

What are your thoughts? Do you resonate with any of this in your life? How have you learned to overcome it?

“(Most people spend) the bulk of their journey suffering the loss of relationship with their own best selves.”

“Who among us (can be) capable of agape or “disinterested love” i.e. love wholly invested in the well being of the other, without the shadow of self-interest cruising beneath the surface like a surly shark?”

“Consider the courage of those truly willing to look within and own what they find.”

“It is the nature of our condition that we long for the Other. As life began with the primal separation from the Other, so we seek, for ever, to return. In our age we may even be said to have a culture of longing. We long for the Gods who went underground. We long for connections, the fixes. We are all addicted, seeking connection through chemical substances, money and power, and most of all through the Magical Other. We long for nurturance, for safe harbor, for completion.”

“…has left us stranded on an isle of narcissism, alone, afraid, self-absorbed, and longing for some Other to save us.”

“More people look for salvation through relationship than in houses of worship.”

“…At least one partner must be extremely and overtly needy, with the other needing to be needed – thus
co-dependence, a state in which both are emotionally constricted and developmentally stuck, fused in the
psychologically naïve fantasy that the Other can truly take care of them. Welcome to ‘happy neurosis island.’”

“…and yet he refused commitment, for therein lay the profound abyss of his childhood fear of being abandonded.”

“Rarely is this progression (in the later stages of relationship, when projections dissolve) welcomed as a
chance for personal growth, or as an opportunity to know who the Other really is, if not the one we thought we’d hooked up with.”

“…where he can move into uncharted territories to seek and find the anguish and terror of total realization and discover that he can survive.”

“But when we can comfort our frightened child, stand watch on the ramparts of our own soul, then we may experience transformation.”

“We may even come to bless those who have most hurt us, for they have most contributed to our transformation. We may even love them, allowing them to be who they are, even as we struggle to be ourselves on the journey toward our own destined end.”

* * *

I’d like to hear your thinking on this:

What are your thoughts? Do you resonate with any of this in your life? How have you learned to overcome it?

Taken from “The Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other” by James Hollis