May, 2012 - Inner Firewalking

Yes, You Can Do It! Part 2

The following is an excerpt from the book Get Paid For Who You Are.

Consider this. When tina Maria’s husband was diagnosed with a wheat allergy she spent months learning about how to cook for him. after cleaning out her pantry, pulling together a load of new recipes (including learning how to recreate some of his favorite dishes) she had developed a set of tips and insights on how to help her husband and her family adjust to the new lifestyle. She was neither a doctor nor a nutritionist, but she was on the front line fighting her husband’s allergy and began to acquire quite a bit of expert advice to share with other families in a similar situation.

She was hesitant at first to start an interactive blog and to write her ebook because she didn’t feel like an expert — but then she reminded herself that she knew more than most people and what she knew could save another family a lot of trial and error. She found friends to help her set up her website and to edit her book. She shied away from public speaking engagements, but found she did very well running small counseling groups. Soon she was gathering enough varied input that she could start her own newsletter.

Despite her initial self-doubt, she successfully shared her insights, helped others and made money doing so.

Rachel Pryor on Free Coaching Sessions

The following is taken from David’s interview with Rachel Pryor in 10 Super Coaches.

Do you recommend offering free coaching?

I offered free coaching to my first 3 clients, for 3 months, and they helped me to identify the documentation I needed for my practice. After 3 months, I found I began to resent giving away for free, so I stopped. I also occasionally offer free coaching in return for some service, however this is not very effective for me.

Never get into a situation when you have offered free coaching without a limit on the timescale.

Mike Turner on Training and Certification of Coaches

The following is taken from David’s interview with Mike Turner in 10 Super Coaches.

Would you advise coaches to pursue certification?

Yes, if only because, as the profession settles down, organizations will increasingly only use certified coaches.

If so, at what stage in their practice, and through which accrediting body?

From as early as possible, be clear what the accreditation criteria are and work towards satisfying them. That way, if the accreditation question comes up, you can say that you are working towards accreditation and state which of the requirements you have met or are close to meeting.

Are there any particular school(s) you would recommend?

The London-based School of Coaching, which is part owned by the Work Foundation (a charity that campaigns to improve the quality of work life). Whilst the fact that I am on the faculty might suggest that I would be biased, the reason I work with the School is because of the high quality of its work.

Confidence Tip: Change your Perspective

The following is an excerpt from the CoachStart Manual.

When we wear the hat of “coach”, we often feel like we’re supposed to be some kind of guru — all-knowing, all-wise, having all the answers to people’s problems. The biggest fear is usually: What if I don’t know what to say? What if I can’t help and I look silly? This is a common perspective we automatically create or come from.

So change it! Reframe your perspective to something that empowers you. How about: “We’re going to view this session as an exploration. I’m not here as some kind of guru to tell you what to do. The goal is to help YOU get clear on what you really want, and the best way forward.”

Now doesn’t that feel better?

Practices That Support You

The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: If you just try to handle eating alone, that’s not easy because the rest of your life is a little bit in disarray. So if you try exercise alone, that’s not easy because you feel bloated, because you just ate some bad foods. If you take on the whole list… One of my things was to exercise, so I find if I go out and rock climb one night, I am not drinking alcohol, I feel like healthy foods and I am not watching any movies. Plus, I’m spending time with my partner, because she comes with me.

Client: That’s right.

David: So, I’m in this positive cycle, and it’s not even taking any effort. I didn’t even know I was doing it until I just told you the list.

Client: Yeah.

David: So what I invite you to do for this week – and to send me by the end of tomorrow – is the list of the ‘practices that support you’ and the ‘practices that abuse you’. Print it out and put it up on a wall somewhere at home. Maybe give it to your partner as well, as your partner often notices things that you’re doing or that don’t support you.

Top Ten Things We Withhold

The following is an excerpt from Top Coaching Techniques.

1. I like you more than I let on; I’d like to spend more time with you

2. You’re sexy/I want to have sex with you

3. I feel hurt by something you did/do

4. I’m drained by you…….(being late, not returning my calls, yelling at me etc.)

5. I’d really like you to touch and hug me more

6. I love you. Thank you for being in my life.

7. I’m angry at you.

8. I’m having sex to please you/keep you in the relationship

9. I’m worried if I tell you the truth you’ll be angry/ I’m afraid.

10. I’ve been showing you the front I want you to see – all my life! Now you’ll see me!

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