a Life You Love' Newsletter
What People are Saying About 'First Fifty Clients'?
Estelle Gibbins, Brisbane, Australia
"I have applied the information, with terrific results.
I started last Monday, making a deal with myself to have a new client
each day. So far, that has occurred - and I have ten new clients!"
For the ladies
I work on the premise that your man is willing to give you everything you want; that he wants to make you happy, if only he is shown how. If this is a stretch for you, I suggest your belief is the main thing standing between you and a wonderful relationship.
When a man does not meet your expectation, you may tend to contract or withdraw. Resentment can creep in and your man pays in the end - either subtly or directly. A cycle can form where you may "cut him down" more often than you "build him up".
My coaching and articles will centre around helping you to:
1) See you actually can have everything you want from your relationship
2) Get clear on exactly what you want
3) Show your man how to give you what you want, in such a way that you both win! These steps often require a shift in thinking, and giving up some behavioural habits. You will need to take responsibility for your relationship - often an uncomfortable place to stand. The result is a positive cycle where he enjoys giving you what you want - wins from it - rather than acting out of obligation or fear. This leaves you radiantly happy, which in turn makes an ENORMOUS difference to his life.
Ask yourself – if life was a fairytale, and I really could have a perfect relationship, what would that look like? What THREE things could I have more of in this relationship that make me incredibly happy?
For the guys:
(Note: I won't normally write directly for the guys, but in case your wondering about my philosophy here…..)
I work on the premise that if you are not happy in your relationship, it is because your girlfriend or wife is not happy, and therefore does not want you to be happy. You know how when she's lit up you have a great day, but when she's not you pay? Sadly, the impact of her mood on your life is widely underestimated.
I don't work with men on how to get their partner to alter her behaviour or give the guy more of what he wants. I work with men on how to pay attention, so they can give their women what she wants even before she asks for it.
“Make her happy, and your life will flow.”
Most women give out of obligation and conditioning. What would it be like to have her so happy, she's giving out of surplus?
Further, because women highly value attention and consideration, and men tend to highly value producing or achieving, a great win-win game is produced if the man pays attention to what his partner wants, and provides it! One could even go so far as to say that given what women go through on this planet compared to the life of the average man, that it's only fair! But fair is not relevant; suffice it to say this model works – wonderfully.
* * * * *
Well, that's a simple start to a wonderful topic filled with learning, riches and fun. In future issues of the Train Your Man (TYM) Newsletter, I'll be covering areas such as……”What Would Make You Incredibly Happy?”, “The Fundamental Problem” , “Meeting Your Basic Needs”, “A 101 Ways of Cutting Your Man Down – is it worth it?”, “The Training Cycle“, and 20 other life changing topics written for the woman's point of view.
If you're passionate about, or interested in having more fun in man-woman relationships – do nothing; you'll automatically receive the new newsletter. If this is “not your bag baby” (read with strong Austin Powers accent) – simply unsubscribe when you get the new TYM issue.
Stuck On This Guy: CS, USA
I adored my last partner, and when he left me, suddenly, without warning or explanation, I was devastated. I've since come to terms with the "why", but now I want to move on with someone who can love me as much as I love them, but I can't get this damn guy out of my head! I don't ever want to feel like that again, but at the same time, I'm scared I'll never feel like that again!!! HELP!
COACH: Beautifully said CS. You might consider counselling on this one......and I'll give you my thoughts for what they're worth. You're not attached to the guy, you're attached to a concept or thought. I find when I see this, it's easier to let it be, and let time move the grieving along it's natural course. If it's still too strong, you might try something to shift your emotional energy (go out, play sport, hang upside down!) I don't think you'll lose your fear - I'm sometimes terrified when I'm with my partner. Love takes courage, don't you think?
Age Difference: TC, Australia
My husband is 10 years older than I am. I am twenty and he is thirty years old. We've been married for a year and a half, and we love each other very much. Our main difficulty is coping with our age difference. My husband came form a bad home and had been living independently since he was 16. I moved straight from living with my parents to living with my husband, and never had to be independent. How can I gain my independence without leaving my husband (which is NOT an option for me)? I have a very placid and non-confrontational personality, while my husband is very powerful and likes to confront problems head-on.
COACH: TC – this is a stronger training ground for you, for developing your boundaries, than most people encounter. You will need to be strong in deciding what is OK with you and what isn't, and then how to communicate this. You'll work it out, or be unhappy – I'd say you're a very strong candidate for coaching, or even counseling. Have you also considered living on your own for a year so you can practice setting boundaries with the love of your life, and then do it in close quarters?
CoachCampus is going strong – now with around 50 students in five countries. For some reason I've had nine new clients sign on in the last three weeks (four in 2 days!) – something in the air? I'm having lots of loving fun with Bronwyn. We've also had challenges, and I've now taken responsibility for setting my boundaries in my relationship, instead of wishing something would change. I've also been working with the Publicity Committee of the International Coach Federation, and am looking forward to meeting hundreds of coaches at the ICF conference in Chicago next month.
Oh, and I've been to 7,000 feet (cloud base!) in my hang glider!
In 1992 I found myself in a Dutch hospital, after eating too much of what is affectionately known as 'space cake'. Back in Australia 6 months later I received a bill asking me to settle in Dutch Guilders - which at the time I thought was ridiculous.
However, finding that bill in an old file this week, things somehow seem
different. I mean - they helped me at a time I REALLY needed help. So
I've found them in the web and am getting payment details to finally settle
Bron and I are settling into Melbourne, and working our way through the thousands of cafes and pubs. The local heat for the national comedy competition is tomorrow night, and three blocks from my house. Wish me luck!
And two weeks ago I officially resigned from the Institute of Actuaries of Australia (gulp). Out with the old...in with the new.....
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David Wood is a personal and business coach, and a founder of the International Coach Academy - a global company training coaches in nine countries. He is a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) based in Washington, D.C.
David has coached people in 13 countries via telephone and email. He helps people tap into their passion and adventure, and get into action! He works with professionals on career direction and personal issues, with small business owners, and managers/executives. He also helps coaches start or accelerate their coaching practice via the CoachStart™ Program at http://www.CoachStart.com/Mentor.htm